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Note: Cross posted from [blogger angelzfury] Kansas Mothers For Custodial Justice.
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Note: Cross posted from [blogger angelzfury] Kansas Mothers For Custodial Justice.
source: www.blogtalkradio.com
In an unhealthy relationship? Have you lost custody of your kids? Are you going through a divorce and fearing you might not make it out with your life? Do you want to live? Join our guests Claudine Domrowski and the relative of Suzan Annette Sowders-Fuller, guned down in front of her children this past weekend. Susan Murphy-Milano is a violence expert, former executive director of a national domestic violence organization, the daughter and survivor of murder-suicide, author of "Defending Our Lives, getting away from domestic violence & staying safe and Moving Out, Moving On when a relationship goes wrong. And her new book out in 2010,"Time's Up, how to leave and survive a dangerous relationship ,offers detailed practical information. Like your own guardian angel giving listeners guidance on what to do when you are in an abusive relationship, attempting to leave to creating a road map to safety every step of the way. As a violent expert and author she speakers from experience. Her voice has been featured on Oprah, 20/20, The Justice Files, US News & World Report, USA Today, Family circle magazine, CNN, NBC's Sunday Today and she comments regularly on headlines making the news. Susan can be heard co-hosting the popular weekly radio show, “Justice Interrupted,” , every Tuesday at 10:00 PM CST, with police officer, Stacy Dittrich, and prosecutor, Robin Sax, highlighting cases that have not received the media attention they deserve. Visit Susan's website at http://www.susanmurphymilano.com
37 minutes ago via BlogTalkRadio · Comment · Like Technorati Tags: Plan,Domestic,Violence,relationship,custody,kids,life,Join,guests,Claudine,Domrowski,Suzan,Annette,Sowders,Fuller,children,Susan,Murphy,Milano,director,organization,daughter,author,Time,guardian,angel,listeners,guidance,road,Oprah,Justice,Files,News,World,Report,magazine,comments,radio,officer,Stacy,Dittrich,Robin,cases,attention,Visit,BlogTalkRadio,Comment,speakers
Two little girls ages 5 and 8 have literally had their lives turned upside down in the last 87 hours since their mother Suzan Annette Sowlers-Fuller and Grandmother Sharon Sue Cannon were killed, before their eyes.
The very system that was supposed to protect their mother and grandmother likely aided in their murders when they failed to upgrade the case and properly charge the estranged husband.
In those 87 hours the girls have lost their in what I refer to as their "country." A place where they each learned to ride their first horse. Where the girls learned how to roller skate down the drive-way, they each played their first game of hopscotch. At night their mom would read them a bedtime story, they would say their prayers and then Suzan or Annette as she liked to be called would kiss her daughters goodnight.
In a matter of moments, gone. They can never return, because, their warm safe world, has vanished. Since Saturday they have been whisked from strange beds, to people with badges to interviews with forensic investigators, appearances in court and questions from strangers who are unable to tell the girls why their mommy is dead.
The order of protection is a document to track the abuse, nothing more. Leading experts are commenting that these cases do not often end in murder when a victim obtains a court order. Well perhaps those experts need to examine these cases a bit closer. Many women do not obtain a court order for fear of being killed. A woman for numerous reasons decides on various factors usually not disclosed to others that prevents her from seeking assistance. It is more of a damn if you do and damn if you do not decision on the part of each victim.
On The Susan Murphy Milano show, we will discuss the various obstacles highlighting this tragedy in hopes that those listening will learn what direction they need to take when faced with imminent danger. This is also a case of "maternal deprivation abuse" that ended in murder. Simply, the father and killer hijacked the children from their mother. We will be joined on the show byClaudine Dombrowski a leading expert in the area of motherswithout custody. And a we will be joined by a close relative and friend who was in daily contact with both women who died.
Date : 8/12/2009
Time: 4:00 PM EST 3:00 PM CST 1:00 PM PST
Call-in Number: (347) 326-9337
Show Link: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano
If you miss the show, please remember you can listen by turning up the volume on your computer and the show will automatically play until our next show on August 19, 2009 when our special guest will be divorce attorney Jennifer Weiss. And she will take your questions live, during the show.
POSTED BY SUSAN MURPHY MILANO'S JOURNAL AT 01:47
LABELS: BAKERSFIELD CALIFORNIA, CALIFORNIA, CLAUDINE DOMBROWSKI,LUNDY BANCROFT, MOTHERS WITHOUT CUSTODY, ORDER OF PROTECTION,PLAN "B", SAFETY STRATEGIES, SUZAN ANNETTE SOWDERS-FULLER,
Technorati Tags: Grandmother,Mother,Custody,Susan,Murphy,Milano,Call,August,Central,Time,upside,Suzan,Annette,Sowlers,Fuller,Sharon,Cannon,system,husband,horse,Where,roller,world,protection,cases,victim,Many,woman,assistance,decision,tragedy,direction,danger,deprivation,father,killer,children,Claudine,Dombrowski,area,friend,Date,Number,Link,computer,guest,attorney,Jennifer,Weiss,JOURNAL,BAKERSFIELD,CALIFORNIA,LUNDY,BANCROFT,ORDER,PLAN,SOWDERS,prayers,moments,badges,appearances,strangers,factors,obstacles,STRATEGIES,girls,hours,women,damnNote: Cross posted from [wp ridezstormz] Silent No More!.Two little girls ages 5 and 8 have literally had their lives turned upside down in the last 87 hours since their mother Suzan Annette Sowlers-Fuller and Grandmother Sharon Sue Cannon were killed, before their eyes.
The very system that was supposed to protect their mother and grandmother likely aided in their murders when they failed to upgrade the case and properly charge the estranged husband.
In those 87 hours the girls have lost their in what I refer to as their "country." A place where they each learned to ride their first horse. Where the girls learned how to roller skate down the drive-way, they each played their first game of hopscotch. At night their mom would read them a bedtime story, they would say their prayers and then Suzan or Annette as she liked to be called would kiss her daughters goodnight.
In a matter of moments, gone. They can never return, because, their warm safe world, has vanished. Since Saturday they have been whisked from strange beds, to people with badges to interviews with forensic investigators, appearances in court and questions from strangers who are unable to tell the girls why their mommy is dead.
The order of protection is a document to track the abuse, nothing more. Leading experts are commenting that these cases do not often end in murder when a victim obtains a court order. Well perhaps those experts need to examine these cases a bit closer. Many women do not obtain a court order for fear of being killed. A woman for numerous reasons decides on various factors usually not disclosed to others that prevents her from seeking assistance. It is more of a damn if you do and damn if you do not decision on the part of each victim.
On The Susan Murphy Milano show, we will discuss the various obstacles highlighting this tragedy in hopes that those listening will learn what direction they need to take when faced with imminent danger. This is also a case of "maternal deprivation abuse" that ended in murder. Simply, the father and killer hijacked the children from their mother. We will be joined on the show byClaudine Dombrowski a leading expert in the area of motherswithout custody. And a we will be joined by a close relative and friend who was in daily contact with both women who died.
Date : 8/12/2009
Time: 4:00 PM EST 3:00 PM CST 1:00 PM PST
Call-in Number: (347) 326-9337
Show Link: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano
If you miss the show, please remember you can listen by turning up the volume on your computer and the show will automatically play until our next show on August 19, 2009 when our special guest will be divorce attorney Jennifer Weiss. And she will take your questions live, during the show.
POSTED BY SUSAN MURPHY MILANO'S JOURNAL AT 01:47
LABELS: BAKERSFIELD CALIFORNIA, CALIFORNIA, CLAUDINE DOMBROWSKI,LUNDY BANCROFT, MOTHERS WITHOUT CUSTODY, ORDER OF PROTECTION,PLAN "B", SAFETY STRATEGIES, SUZAN ANNETTE SOWDERS-FULLER,
Technorati Tags: Grandmother,Mother,Custody,Susan,Murphy,Milano,Call,August,Central,Time,upside,Suzan,Annette,Sowlers,Fuller,Sharon,Cannon,system,husband,horse,Where,roller,world,protection,cases,victim,Many,woman,assistance,decision,tragedy,direction,danger,deprivation,father,killer,children,Claudine,Dombrowski,area,friend,Date,Number,Link,computer,guest,attorney,Jennifer,Weiss,JOURNAL,BAKERSFIELD,CALIFORNIA,LUNDY,BANCROFT,ORDER,PLAN,SOWDERS,prayers,moments,badges,appearances,strangers,factors,obstacles,STRATEGIES,girls,hours,women,damnNote: Cross posted from [blogger angelzfury] Family Court Crisis-Abusers Getting Custody..!!.Physical abuse
The phrase child abuse means many different things to the American people. Most frequently, people define this phrase as physical cruelty toward small children and this is certainly one definition. After thinking about it, many people would also include sexual molestation, parent’s drug addiction and filthy living conditions. Interestingly, very few people outside of the professional domestic and sexual violence awareness community understand how domestic and sexual violence directed at the mother or cruelty to a pet by the father or father figure can have devastating effects on the children and are by definition abusive. Nonetheless, the next section will concentrate on overt (direct) forms of abuse that children with a batterer for a father are subjected to in far greater numbers than children with non-battering fathers.
The risk for children of batterers to be physically abused is alarmingly high; 49-70%, versus 7% within the general population.Batterers who also abuse alcohol are significantly more likely to physically abuse children than are other batterers. The risk of physical abuse of children by a batterer rises with the severity and frequency of the abuse directed at their mother. A custody/visitation evaluator would be negligent in not investigating charges of domestic violence and alcohol abuse by the father for these are red flags of potential child abuse. In addition, batterers are at risk to kill children, especially if they murder or attempt to murder the mother; in more than 1 in 8 domestic violence homicides, the batterer kills one or more children.
Unbelievably, we still hear professional evaluators and judges declare that regardless of the batterer’s treatment of the mother, they believe him to be a good father because the violence was between (as if his violence is a joint activity) the batterer and his partner and had no direct bearing on his ability to father. There continues to be a strong tendency in our society to want to separate a man’s violence and mistreatment of his partner from any effects on the children in the home, as if the tension and ugliness were occurring in a vacuum. This of course is impossible, 90% of children who have a batterer for a father are fully aware of his behavior.
His violence is directed at who he perceives to be his possessions (his family) and he does not draw a line between his entitlement in regards to his partner and the extensions of her (the children). His violence does not happen between himself and his partner, he uses his violence as a weapon to manipulate and control his partner and their children.
Batterers commonly increase their intimidation and neglect in relation to the children after a separation or divorce. The children were a major way for him to exert power and control over his partner while she was residing with him. The children seldom decrease in value as pawns for the batterer’s tactics after a separation, thus his efforts at terrorizing her through the children very often increase. Reports to us of batterer/fathers taking very small boys (ages 2-5) on hunting trips, allowing children to ride in the back of pickup trucks with no restraints, encouraging adolescent children to view pornography, making liquor available for teenagers and the list goes on and on, are sadly common after a divorce or separation. These behaviors are child abuse/neglect, yet so often when mothers attempt to bring these behaviors to the attention of the proper authorities they are often dismissed as an angry, bitter woman seeking revenge. The batterer feels free to continue as he chooses and generally he is free.
If the batterer can no longer get at the children’s mother directly, he will far too often do the next best (worst) thing; get at her through her children. Clearly, any man who would manipulate, abuse and use his children in such a cruel and insidious manner is not a good father.'
Sexual abuse
The current research on the relationship between domestic violence and incest shows a 44.5% to 73% overlap, meaning that 44.5% to 73% of incest perpetrators also inflict some degree of abusive behavior on their partner. Nearly all the victims were young daughters or stepdaughters of these men. The sexually abusive domestic batterers in these studies tended to fall within one of two categories. Either they used a low level of physical abuse and an extremely high level of emotional and verbal abuse or they used extremely high levels of both.
Batterers who are also perpetrators of incest do not primarily desire children as sex partners; they nearly always carry on adult sexual relations with the child’s mother at the same time. Very often these men will continue to victimize the same daughter or daughters for years. Few of these men have mental disorders or significant problems with jobs, friendships or community involvement: they “look” normal. Although these abusers generally prefer daughters, they will molest sons if there are no girls around.They consider themselves entitled to use anyone in their household in any way they choose.
Secrecy is critical to both batterers and molesters. Threats of even greater harm/blame/shame if the victims report his crimes are standard operating procedure for most abusive men. Abusiveness cannot survive in the light of public attention.
Teaching the children well
Children who are raised in homes where the father is a batterer are exposed to eight times as many physical threats; five times as many control tactics, and four times as much sexual coercion. Boys exposed to their father’s domestic violence show much higher rates of aggressiveness and bullying toward peers, and both boys and girls show signs of learning to meet their needs by manipulating, pressuring, and coercing others. Children do become what they see and hear.
Boys raised in homes where an abusive father is present show sharp increases in battering their own partners, and of using other types of demeaning, psychologically abusive, and aggressive behaviors toward their partners. Additionally, these boys have shown a much greater likelihood of committing sexual assaults. Recent data has found that one in five high school age girls will be physically and/or sexually assaulted by a boy their own age at least once before she graduates. These abusive boys don’t drop out of the sky; they are coached by their fathers to believe that cruel treatment of women and girls is acceptable.
Boys are extremely prone to identify with their fathers. If their father is a non-violent man, this identification will be a normal, healthy occurrence. However, if their father is a batterer, this identification can have disastrous effects for another generation.Teenage boys who are sent to live with an abusive father in custody suits are at even greater danger of replicating their father’s attitudes and behavior.
Girls who are raised in homes where the father is a batterer are not only at greater risk of being abused by the father, but are also being coached to accept that men are violent, and that women are to blame for this violence. Girls raised in these homes are more likely to become involved with an abusive male and less likely to seek help when they are abused: they have learned that’s the way life is.
It’s fairly well known that children raised in homes with a batterer for a father display much higher rates of emotional, behavioral and learning disabilities, as well as six times higher suicide rates. What is not as well known is the effect their father’s behavior and attitudes have on the children's developing belief systems.
The “truths” these children learn at the knees of their fathers impact every aspect of their development and growth and will continue to echo throughout their own, their future partners and future children’s lives.
The view of the world these children develop often includes some or all of the following beliefs:
Victims of violence are to blame for the violence. Batterers feel justified in their abusive behaviors because they believe that they were provoked by a partner who failed to understand/respect/accept their special entitlement; “You know I hate it when you…”, “You should have shut up when I told you to”, “You’re too stupid to understand anything, the only thing you understand is…”
The use of violence is justified to impose your desire or settle a fight. Violence works. Children witness the “winning” by the most powerful parent in outbursts at home, in court proceedings, and in visitation agreement/orders.
Men should be in control and women should be submissive. These sexist views are overtly and covertly communicated to the children, particularly the sons, with regard to future violence and by the girls who begin to view all men as abusive and her own abuse to be inevitable. The manipulative behavior of the abusive father appears to justify and rationalize his choices.
There’s little consequence to the abuser for his domestic violence. The children in these homes realize that the criminal justice system appears to do very little or nothing to stop the violence. They see their father being the “great guy” outside the home and all his buddies rallying around. They know that neighbors hear the fighting yet do nothing and that everyone can see their mother’s black eye and busted lip. It doesn’t seem to matter to anyone else, after awhile; these children may begin to wonder why it matters to them.
Women are weak, stupid and deserving of what they get. This view is still rampant in our society: “Why doesn’t she just leave?” The children absorb this attitude from both their fathers and from society even when they have witnessed their mothers doing everything in her power to change or escape the brutal treatment. We still don’t ask “Why does he do that?”
It’s better for older boys to be with their father than with their mother, boys need a man’s influence. Boys and girls need healthy guidance, love, support and boundaries. There is precious little evidence that any child is better or worse off receiving these opportunities from one parent or the other; however, there is much evidence that a child who receives none of this will suffer for a lifetime. Battering fathers are not likely to be healthy role models for any child.
Anger, alcohol or both cause violence. No, they do not. Anger is not an unhealthy emotion, although, what some men choose to do with their “anger” and sense of entitlement can be very unhealthy. To be violent is a choice and the batterer has total control over his choices. Everyone experiences anger from time to time, but everyone does not batter another person because of this anger. There is no relationship between alcohol and violence with the exception that drunkenness can provide a perfect excuse (justification) for some men’s choice to be violent*. However, there does appear to be a relationship between the degree of damage inflicted on a victim and a man’s intake of alcohol and between a man’s drunkenness and his likelihood of also abusing and/or molesting his children. Witnessing a battering father’s violence has been linked to increases in drug and alcohol abuse and teenage pregnancy for these children.
* Please note: With the exception of methamphetamine and anabolic steroids, no substance is known to cause an otherwise nonviolent person to suddenly become violent. Substance abuse commonly relaxes a person’s inhibitions, but does not induce violence unless the person had a violent predisposition beforehand.
Women Who are Battered
Women who are battered often go to extreme and courageous lengths to protect their children from an abusive partner. In fact, research has shown that the non-abusing parent is often the strongest protective factor in the lives of children who are exposed to domestic violence.
However, growing up in a violent home may be a terrifying and traumatic experience that can affect every aspect of a child’s life, growth, and development. In spite of this, we know that when properly identified and addressed, the effects of domestic violence on children can be mitigated.
• The U.S. Advisory Board on Child Abuse suggests that domestic violence may be the single major precursor to child abuse and neglect fatalities in this country.i
• Studies suggest that between 3.3 and 10 million children are exposed to domestic violenceannually.ii
• In a national survey of more than 6,000 American families, 50 percent of the men who frequently assaulted their wives also frequently abused their children.iii
• Slightly more than half of female victims of intimate violence live in households with children under age 12.iv
• Men who as children were exposed to their parents' domestic violence are twice as likely toabuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.v
• One study of 2,245 children and teenagers found that recent exposure to violence in the homewas a significant factor in predicting a child’s violent behavior.vi
• Children who are exposed to domestic violence are more likely to exhibit behavioral and physical health problems including depression, anxiety, and violence towards peers.vii
They are also more likely to attempt suicide, abuse drugs and alcohol, run away from home, engage in teenage prostitution, and commit sexual assault crimes. viii
• A recent study of low-income pre-school children in Michigan found that nearly half (46.7percent) of the children in the study had been exposed to at least one incident of mild or severeviolence in the family. Children who had been exposed to violence suffered symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, such as bed-wetting or nightmares, and were at greater risk than their peers of having allergies, asthma, gastrointestinal problems, headaches and flu.ix
Pregnancy and Domestic Violence
• Each year about 324,000 pregnant women in the U.S. are battered by the men in their lives.x
• Complications of pregnancy, including low weight gain, anemia, infections, and first and second trimester bleeding are significantly higher for abused women xi, xii, as are maternal rates of depression, suicide attempts, tobacco, alcohol, and illicit drug use.xiii
The Facts on Children and Domestic Violence
i U.S. Advisory Board on Child Abuse and Neglect, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, A Nation’s Shame: Fatal Child Abuse and Neglect in the United States: Fifth Report, 1995
ii Carlson, Bonnie E. (1984). Children's observations of interpersonal violence. Pp. 147-167 in A.R. Roberts (Ed.)Battered women and their families (pp. 147-167). NY: Springer. Straus, M.A. (1992). Children as witnesses to marital violence: A risk factor for lifelong problems among a nationally representative sample of American men and women. Report of the Twenty-Third Ross Roundtable. Columbus, OH: Ross Laboratories.
iii Strauss, Murray A., Gelles Richard J., and Smith, Christine. 1990. Physical Violence in American Families; Risk Factors and Adaptations to Violence in 8,145 Families. New Brunswick: Transaction Publishers.
iv U.S. Department of Justice, Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends, March 1998
v Strauss, Murray A., Gelles Richard J., and Smith, Christine. 1990. Physical Violence in American Families; Risk Factors and Adaptations to Violence in 8,145 Families. New Brunswick: Transaction Publishers.
vi Singer, M.I., Miller, D.B., Guo, S., Slovak, K & Frieson, T. 1998. “The Mental Health Consequences of Children’s Exposure to Violence.” Cleveland, OH: Cuyahoga County Community Health Research Institute, Mandel School of Applied Social Sciences, Case Western Reserve University.
vii Jaffe, P. and Sudermann, M., “Child Witness of Women Abuse: Research and Community Responses,” in Stith, S. and Straus, M., Understanding Partner Violence: Prevalence, Causes, Consequences, and Solutions. Families in Focus Services, Vol. II. Minneapolis, MN: National Council on Family Relations, 1995.
viii Wolfe, D.A., Wekerle, C., Reitzel, D. and Gough, R., “Strategies to Address Violence in the Lives of High Risk Youth.” In Peled, E., Jaffe, P.G. and Edleson, J.L. (eds.), Ending the Cycle of Violence: Community Responses to Children of Battered Women. New York: Sage Publications. 1995.
ix Graham-Bermann, Sandra A and Julie Seng. 2005. “Violence Exposure and Traumatic Stress Symptoms as Additional Predictors of Health Problems in High-Risk Children.” Journal of Pediatrics. 146(3):309-10.
x Gazmararian JA, Petersen R, Spitz AM, Goodwin MM, Saltzman LE, Marks JS. 2000. “Violence and Reproductive Health: Current Knowledge and Future Research Directions.” Maternal and Child Health Journal. 4(2):79-84.
xi Parker, B., McFarlane, J., & Soeken, K. 1994. “Abuse During Pregnancy: Effects on Maternal Complications and Infant Birthweight in Adult and Teen Women.” Obstetrics & Gynecology. 841: 323-328.
xii McFarlane, J. Parker B., & Soeken, K. 1996. “Abuse during Pregnancy: Association with Maternal Health and Infant
Birthweight.” Nursing Research. 45:32-37.
xiii McFarlane, J., Parker, B., & Soeken, K. 1996. “Physical Abuse, Smoking and Substance Abuse During Pregnancy:Prevalence, Interrelationships and Effects on Birthweight.” Journal of Obstetrical Gynecological and Neonatal Nursing. 25:
313-320.
Technorati Tags: Batterer,Child,Abuser,Physical,American,Most,children,definition,parent,drug,addiction,violence,father,numbers,population,Batterers,frequency,custody,evaluator,flags,addition,judges,treatment,tendency,mistreatment,tension,vacuum,behavior,possessions,entitlement,weapon,intimidation,relation,separation,efforts,Reports,restraints,liquor,teenagers,attention,authorities,woman,revenge,manner,Sexual,relationship,degree,victims,Either,partners,Very,daughter,problems,involvement,Although,Secrecy,Threats,procedure,times,coercion,rates,signs,needs,Recent,data,graduates,occurrence,generation,Teenage,danger,Girls,male,life,belief,knees,impact,aspect,development,growth,world,beliefs,proceedings,agreement,orders,sexist,consequence,justice,system,buddies,Women,attitude,guidance,boundaries,lifetime,role,Anger,emotion,person,exception,justification,victim,intake,substance,predisposition,fact,factor,spite,Advisory,Board,Abuse,precursor,fatalities,exposure,health,depression,income,Michigan,incident,disorder,Pregnancy,Domestic,Facts,Neglect,Department,Human,Services,Nation,Shame,Fatal,Fifth,Report,Carlson,Bonnie,observations,Roberts,Springer,Straus,Third,Ross,Roundtable,Columbus,Laboratories,Strauss,Murray,Gelles,Richard,Smith,Christine,Risk,Brunswick,Transaction,Publishers,Intimates,Analysis,Current,Former,Boyfriends,Girlfriends,March,Singer,Miller,Slovak,Frieson,Mental,Consequences,Cleveland,Cuyahoga,Research,Institute,Mandel,School,Social,Sciences,Case,Western,Reserve,Jaffe,Sudermann,Stith,Partner,Prevalence,Focus,Minneapolis,National,Council,Relations,Wolfe,Wekerle,Reitzel,Gough,High,Youth,Edleson,Cycle,York,Sage,Graham,Bermann,Sandra,Julie,Seng,Traumatic,Additional,Predictors,Journal,Pediatrics,Gazmararian,Petersen,Spitz,Goodwin,Saltzman,Marks,Reproductive,Knowledge,Future,Directions,Maternal,Parker,McFarlane,Soeken,Effects,Infant,Adult,Obstetrics,Gynecology,Association,Interrelationships,Obstetrical,Gynecological,Neonatal,fathers,homicides,extensions,categories,disorders,crimes,attitudes,systems,truths,outbursts,inhibitions,lengths,symptoms,allergies,headaches,Complications,infections,Factors,Adaptations,Spouses,Responses,Solutions,Strategies,Publications,alcohol,visitation,behaviors,incest,perpetrators,daughters,sons,five,peers,behavioral,suicide,doesn,parents,viii,xiiiNote: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice.
Barack Obama
· Obama and His Fathercentrism
· I Don't Think I've Ever Heard a Judge Tell the Truth. Thank you, Judge Sotomayor!
· A Society Illusively Fixated on Fatherhood
· David Gray Ross? Obama You've Got to be Shitting Me
· Maybe There is Hope and A Change Coming
assault on Black families
· Fathers and Families Uses McNair's Death to Catapult Their Ill-Intentioned Cause
· Obama and His Fathercentrism
· Single Moms: How Much Do You Owe the Black Man?
· They Have Their Statistics, and then There is the Truth...Somewhere
· Child Protective Services (CPS), Not Exactly
· Black Domestic Violence, White Domestic Violence
· A Society Illusively Fixated on Fatherhood
families of color
· Spectator Sports, the Birthing Kelis, and Wisdom from Michel Odent and Jimmy Carter
· Educated White People Have the Lowest Rates of Violence? Shut Yo' Mouf!
· Father and Murderer Leslie Schuler Didn't Want to be a "Visitor" to His Child Anymore
· Single Moms: How Much Do You Owe the Black Man?
· Amnesty International Says...
· Up Next, Target the Hispanic Population
· FACTUAL ALLEGATIONS ABOUT THE RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD PROGRAMS
Technorati Tags: Randi,James,Blog,Barack,Obama,Fathercentrism,Think,Judge,Tell,Truth,Thank,Sotomayor,David,Gray,Ross,Maybe,Hope,Change,Black,McNair,Death,Catapult,Cause,Single,Moms,Statistics,Somewhere,Child,Protective,Services,Domestic,Violence,White,Spectator,Sports,Kelis,Wisdom,Michel,Odent,Jimmy,Carter,People,Lowest,Rates,Shut,Mouf,Father,Murderer,Leslie,Schuler,Didn,Want,Visitor,International,Target,Hispanic,Population,FACTUAL,ABOUT,RESPONSIBLE,Fathers,ALLEGATIONS
Note: Cross posted from [wp ridezstormz] Silent No More!.
Technorati Tags: Dear,Senator,Faust,Goudeau,Kansas,children,hostage,daughter,FORCE,State,MOST,hero,prisoner,death,Maternal,Deprivation,attendance,funeral,knowledge,human,rights,father,role,life,feelings,MAKE,policy,relationship,Mother,African,American,Woman,denial,justice,discrimination,Inter,Commission,Jessica,Gonzales,ACLU,Domestic,Violence,combination,Parents,Church,responsibilities,Should,Understand,faith,money,Foster,Care,gang,enemy,Drugs,SCHOOL,Enrichment,activities,MUSIC,SPORTS,Statutory,Heart,Single,Help,Initiative,conclusion,services,purpose,Accountable,involvement,Save,kids,OPTION,fathers,statutes,violations,Teachers,organizations,repercussions,dads,legislation,daughtersNote: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] Battered Mothers Rights - A Human Rights Issue.Senator,
I am tired, held hostage, as is my child, in this state- (for sixteen years now) No, we did not ‘turn out just fine’-(only my daughter and I remain) and the best that we can hope for is to simply ‘survive’ four more years- every day is a war zone.
This is WHAT happens when you FORCE bad dads better off gone FORCE them with federal and State Funding (I am thus far lucky- so far I have survived) MOST have not- every day fathers are murdering their children because sometimes you just cannot fix/force bad dads-
I too promised my recently deceased mother- “my hero” whom as a prisoner even in death ’Maternal Deprivation-(Fatherhood initiatives) were denied attendance even to her funeral. I want to empower you, I want you to have knowledge and as like your mother- stand for basic human rights the same basic human rights denied to my own mother and continue denied- myself and daughter.
I will address first your email as below- then send to you further extensive information that can assist you. I urge you to stop this act or delay it pending more valid research.
You write:
as an adult I still wish my father would have played a more effective role in my life.
But you still turned out successful, so is having a father "vital" to EVERY child's life? Are your personal feelings allowed the create legislation for ALL? What is an "effective role"? Can NO role be effective? How can you MAKE someone have an effective role? Is this the business of law and public policy?
My two teenaged daughters have a wonderful relationship with their Father, and they have turned out to be well rounded young ladies active in school and our community. And, although I turned out just fine, being raised by a single Mother and
Was this "wonderful relationship" foster by her, the children, or the father? Would not a wonderful man create a wonderful relationship with his children? What of a bad man? Does having a FATHER cause children to be well-rounded? Would her children NOT have been well-rounded and community oriented WITHOUT their father?
becoming the First African American Woman Senator in the State of Kansas.
the entry of your SB 128 into the KS statutes will be ear marked with the human rights violations, denial to access to justice and discrimination again this is at the Inter-American Commission Human Rights behind the Jessica Gonzales case the ACLU filed in 2005. Domestic Violence is a human Rights issue, ruled the US violates those rights.
I truly believe, that Our children are most successful with a combination of support from both Parents, who are actively participating in their children's lives. I also,feel that Teachers and The Church, and the Community at large must play an active role in this equation for the positive out-come of Our children Success.
"I truly believe" is that evidence? What type of support? How can you force someone to "actively participate"? [ my side comment: Teachers are overburdened--do not add to their responsibilities without adding to their pay.] Should everyone be forced to be involved with the church. [Understand what this also means about faith-based organizations getting grant money, etc]
I receive calls from Parents who share stories with me about their children being placed in Foster Care for various reason and Children being
killed because of drugs and gang violence. I even hear about the young girls who are about my daughters ages dropping out because they are pregnant and the young Father has left them alone and hopeless.[ Foster care= the govt = the enemy] [Drugs, gang violence = poor choices, no resources, money]---create SCHOOL PROGRAMS for children. AFTER SCHOOL PROGRAMS. Enrichment activities. MUSIC, SPORTS....money for fatherhood???? WTF? teen moms? get them monetary support!!! Statutory rape?
My Heart goes out to these Families! And most households are headed by"Single Mothers." "So , as a way to Help!!!!! ( Mothers and Children) I introduced"The Fatherhood Initiative Act".
This is the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. This is your conclusion to all the things you previously mentioned. As a way to help mothers and children, why not give them services and money if they already have to do the job of parenting.My sole purpose was to be pro-active with this
legislation by simple assisting New Fathers stay involved in their children's lives and to encourage all Fathers to become more Emotionally supportive and Financially Accountable in the raising of their childrenWhy do you have to assist fathers to stay involved? What is stopping them? (you will say jobs, this is NOT a good enough answer) What is necessary to assist so that they become more "emotionally" involved? How do you legislate emotional involvement?
I feel this legislation will save tax payers money and Save Families! Because, We will Pay! one way or another! We can choose to be pro-active by investing
In", and Educating "Fathers"or Pay later to incarcerate or bury the Children of the absent Father!What happens to the money educating mothers who are already doing the job? Is this money cut, decreased? for the sake of fathers? What if the father utilizes the services and still is NOT involved? What will be the repercussions? The kids will still be poor? Will there be any father-penalties? The kids will always be penalized if you rely on a party that has the OPTION to be involved.
http://www.randijames.com/2009/02/black-fathers-and-family-court.html
Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] Battered Mothers Rights - A Human Rights Issue.http://familycourtmatters.wordpress.com/
More National Fatherhood Initiatives, this one in Kansas.
( it just keeps going, going, going as they keep killing, killing killing when she tries to separate):
Oletha Faust-Goudeau
Kansas Senate Democrat
District 29 (2004 District Map, District Demographics)
First Term: 2009
4158 Regents Lane
WICHITA 67208Phone: 316-652-9067
Email: Oletha29th@aol.comBusiness Information
Occupation: Community Act.
PO Box 20335
Wichita 67208
Below is the act. PHONE or WRITE or EMAIL to protest (if still necessary) this act for two reasons:
1. Similar policies are already encouraging already over entitled men to kidnap and/or molest and/or kill youngsters, their mothers, and themselves, and sometimes bystanders, and sometimes responding police officers, in the process of getting even with their mothers.
2. Nearly every statement in this Act has already been stated in public, in the U.S. Congress, echoed by Presidents Bush, Clinton & Obama, as well as governors across the United States, and has also laws enacted to facilitate the further engagement of fathers in their families post-separation from those families (post-conception, post-divorce, post-restraining order, post-etc.) AND substantial federal grant monies to support this.
3. Nationwide and in prominent positions, the “tripe” — and it IS tripe — that this is a recent phenomenon on which dialogue has not yet taken place, or to which the public has not paid attention — that there is a fatherhood crisis, and along with this, the absence of fathers has been in otherwise creditable institutions been EQUATED AS CAUSE for significant other social problems, which might as easily have been attributable to almost any other reasonable cause, such as illiteracy, racism in incarceration of fathers, and the premise having been that the household values are more pre-eminent than the school or other associations values in growing children. This in effect is a misogynistic policy.
4. The programs and grants to go along with them have undermined due process in the courts. MOreover, the average woman is NOT told of these programs when engaging in the family court system, whereas ample documentation exists, both privately individual cases AND publically on nonprofit websites reporting on this — that noncustodial parents (mostly fathers), through programs that frequently have the word “father” or “fatherhood” in them, and often publically funded — ARE being recruited into programs offering them free legal help, mediation preparation coaching, reduced child support arrears in exchange for increased custodial time, even including fathers in prison, whereas mothers, who often then lose custodial access (sometimes COMPLETELY) to their own children through such programs, are unable to utilize these same programs or funding (including effective legal help) to children who were removed from their households.
5. ANYTHING which undermines due process in the courts is bad public policy and WILL be fought back against, draining significant time energy and money from the hands of the general public, and placing it into the hands of the professionals who profit from all this. Again, ANYTHING which undermines due process in the courts – IN the courtroom is bad public policy and subversion of our U.S. Constitution,and Bill of Rights which exist to prevent exactly such behaviors.
6. Establishing “fatherhood” in this manner absolutely constitutes the establishment of a national religion, and as such is an outright and flagrant violation of the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. No matter how prevalent this is throughout our country presently, it’s still a violation of this Amendment and should as such urgently be reversed.
! ! ! !
By Senator Faust-Goudeau
1-27
AN ACT creating and implementing the fatherhood initiative program;
relating to the duties of the department of social and rehabilitation
services.
Be it enacted by the Legislature of the State of Kansas:
Section 1.
(a) Subject to the provisions of appropriation acts, the sec-
retary of social and rehabilitation services shall establish a fatherhood
initiative program within the department of social and rehabilitation serv-
ices.
The objectives of the initiative shall be to:
(1) Promote public education concerning the financial and emotional responsibilities of fatherhood;
MY pie chart of federal spending indicates that THE largest sector of public expense is HHS, and THE 2nd only is EDUCATION. Therefore I recommend the latter be given a severe “time out” for having promoted and structurally modeled abusive and civil-rights-violating behaviors such that the former has bloated beyond the capacity of the general population to sustain. Moreover, they also should either toss a coin, or duke it out (like the appointed champions of old) in a safe, enclosed place (and out of view of the public is OK, if taxes are suspended for the meantime — in fact, without their interferences, the rest of us, except the thousands in their employ, and the thousands more living off of their grants, and the professions that are enabled by the dysfunction of the educational one in particular, might be a little better off as a whole) — and come out when one has been vanquished.
In particular, they need to decide between them — again, a coin toss would do, because promoting either one I feel is really wrong — that the U.S. Populace AND all its institutions MUST be LBGT friendly (or be accused of hate crimes), OR be misogynistic (or be accused of male-bashing, or scapegoated for any and all social ills) for railing to be father-friendly enough. After all, how are children who live in a home with two Mommies going to bring sperm donor or surrogate father home?
Moreover, how are adopted children to bring their fathers home.
Moreover, how are orphaned children to feel when the world assigns a general hoopla to father’s day, and far less to mothers’?
Moreover, why should a President part of whose platform was indeed that he had been raised by a single mother, be unable to put the word ‘Mother” on the family issues page of the White House?
(2) assist men in preparation for the legal, financial and emotional responsibilities of fatherhood;
(3) promote the establishment of paternity at childbirth;
(4) encourage fathers, regardless of marital status, to foster their emotional connection to and financial support of their children;
(5) establish support mechanisms for fathers in their relationship with their children, regardless of their marital and financial status;
HOW is this compatible with programs emanating out of the same dept (for which such support mechanisms ALREADY are thriving, and funded) to correlate with the “marriage promotion” funding, CFDA Code 93.086? Let alone Abstinence Education?
(6) integrate state and local services available for families;
and
(7) promote, foster, encourage and otherwise support programs de- signed to educate and train young men who are both current and future
fathers as to effective parenting skills, behaviors and attitudes.
I.e., every male past puberty who has not had a vasectomy or been injured in his private parts to the extent of being unable to father children (or voluntarily entered the Catholic priesthood) up til what age? Define young? Good grief Get a grip on yourself, Ma’am!!
Citizens and those on temporary visa a like? Suppose such values are in direct contradiction to their cultures and nations
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