20.5.10

The Science of Mother Love

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2nytUs/www.babiesonline.com/articles/baby/scienceofmotherslove.asp

by Cori Young

A growing body of scientific evidence shows that the way babies are cared for by their mothers will determine not only their emotional development, but the biological development of the child’s brain and central nervous system as well. The nature of love, and how the capacity to love develops, has become the subject of scientific study over the last decade. New data is emerging from a multitude of disciplines including neurology, psychology, biology, ethology, anthropology and neurocardiology. Something scientific disciplines find in common when putting love under the microscope is that in addition to shaping the brains of infants, mother’s love acts as a template for love itself and has far reaching effects on her child’s ability to love throughout life.

the-science-of-mother-love.jpgTo mothers holding their newborn babies it will come as little surprise that the ‘decade of the brain’ has lead science to the wisdom of the mother’s heart.

According to Alan Schore, assistant clinical professor in the department of psychiatry and biobehavioral sciences at UCLA School of Medicine, a major conclusion of the last decade of developmental neuroscience research is that the infant brain is designed to be molded by the environment it encounters.1 In other words, babies are born with a certain set of genetics, but they must be activated by early experience and interaction. Schore believes the most crucial component of these earliest interactions is the primary caregiver – the mother. “The child’s first relationship, the one with the mother, acts as a template, as it permanently molds the individual’s capacities to enter into all later emotional relationships.” Others agree. The first months of an infant’s life constitute what is known as a critical period – a time when events are imprinted in the nervous system.

“Hugs and kisses during these critical periods make those neurons grow and connect properly with other neurons.” Says Dr. Arthur Janov, in his book Biology of Love. “You can kiss that brain into maturity.”

Hormones, The Language of Love

In his beautiful book, The Scientification of Love, French obstetrician Michel Odent explains how Oxytocin, a hormone released by the pituitary gland stimulates the release of chemical messengers in the heart. Oxytocin, which is essential during birth, stimulating contractions, and during lactation, stimulating the ‘milk ejection reflex’, is also involved in other ‘loving behaviors’. “It is noticeable that whatever the facet of love we consider, oxytocin is involved.’ Says Odent. “During intercourse both partners – female and male – release oxytocin.” One study even shows that the simple act of sharing a meal with other people increases our levels of this ‘love hormone’.2

The altruistic oxytocin is part of a complex hormonal balance. A sudden release of Oxytocin creates an urge toward loving which can be directed in different ways depending on the presence of other hormones, which is why there are different types of love. For example, with a high level of prolactin, a well-known mothering hormone, the urge to love is directed toward babies.

While Oxytocin is an altruistic hormone and prolactin a mothering hormone, endorphins represent our ‘reward system’. “Each time we mammals do something that benefits the survival of the species, we are rewarded by the secretion of these morphine-like substances.” Says Odent.

During birth there is also an increase in the level of endorphins in the fetus so that in the moments following birth both mother and baby are under the effects of opiates. The role of these hormones is to encourage dependency, which ensures a strong attachment between mother and infant. In situations of failed affectional bonding between mother and baby there will be a deficiency of the appropriate hormones, which could leave a child susceptible to substance abuse in later life as the system continually attempts to right itself.3 You can say no to drugs, but not to neurobiology. Human brains have evolved from earlier mammals. The first portion of our brain that evolved on top of its reptilian heritage is the limbic system, the seat of emotion. It is this portion of the brain that permits mothers and their babies to bond. Mothers and babies are hardwired for the experience of togetherness. The habits of breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and babywearing practiced by the majority of! mothers in non-industrialized cultures, and more and more in our own, facilitate two of the main components needed for optimal mother/child bonding: proximity and touch.

PROXIMITY, Between Mammals, the Nature of Love is Heart to Heart

In many ways it’s obvious why a helpless newborn would require continuous close proximity to a caregiver; they’re helpless and unable to provide for themselves. But science is unveiling other less obvious benefits of holding baby close. Mother/child bonding isn’t just for brains, but is also an affair of the heart. In his 1992 work, Evolution’s End, Joseph Chilton Pearce describes the dual role of the heart cell, saying that it not only contracts and expands rhythmically to pump blood, it communicates with its fellow cells. “If you isolate a cell from the heart, keep it alive and examine it through a microscope, you will see it lose it’s synchronous rhythm and begin to fibrillate until it dies. If you put another isolated heart cell on that microscopic slide it will also fibrillate . If you move the two cells within a certain proximity, however , they synchronize and beat in unison.” Perhaps this is why most mothers instinctively place their babies to their left breast, keep! ing those hearts in proximity. The heart produces the hormone, ANF that dramatically affects every major system of the body. “All evidence indicates that the mother’s developed heart stimulates the newborn heart, thereby activating a dialogue between the infant’s brain-mind and heart.” says Pearce who believes this heart to heart communication activates intelligences in the mother also. “On holding her infant in the left-breast position with its corresponding heart contact, a major block of dormant intelligences is activated in the mother, causing precise shifts of brain function and permanent behavior changes.” In this beautiful dynamic the infant’s system is activated by being held closely; and this proximity also stimulates a new intelligence in the mother, which helps her to respond to and nurture her infant. Pretty nifty plan – and another good reason to aim for a natural birth. If nature is handing out intelligence to help us in our role as mothers we want to be awake ! and alert!

Touch

“The easiest and quickest way to induce depression and alienation in an infant or child is not to touch it, hold it, or carry it on your body.” – James W. Prescott, PhD

Research in neuroscience has shown that touch is necessary for human development and that a lack of touch damages not only individuals, but our whole society. Human touch and love is essential to health. A lack of stimulus and touch very early on causes the stress hormone, cortisol to be released which creates a toxic brain environment and can damage certain brain structures. According to James W. Prescott, PhD, of the Institute of Humanistic Science, and former research scientist at the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, sensory deprivation results in behavioral abnormalities such as depression, impulse dyscontrol, violence, substance abuse, and in impaired immunological functioning in mother deprived infants.4 For over a million years babies have enjoyed almost constant in-arms contact with their mothers or other caregivers, usually members of an extended family, receiving constant touch for the first year or so of life. “In nature’s nativity scene, ! mother’s arms have always been baby’s bed, breakfast, transportation, even entertainment, and, for most of the world’s babies, they still are.” says developmental psychologist, Sharon Heller in, The Vital Touch: How Intimate Contact With Your Baby Leads to Happier, Healthier Development.5

To babies,touch = love and fully loved babies develop healthy brains. During the critical period of development following birth the infant brain is undergoing a massive growth of neural connections. Synaptic connections in the cortex continue to proliferate for about two years, when they peak. During this period one of the most crucial things to survival and healthy development is touch. All mammal mothers seem to know this instinctively, and, if allowed to bond successfully with their babies they will provide continuous loving touch.

Touch deprivation in infant monkeys is so traumatic their whole system goes haywire, with an increase of stress hormones, increased heart rate, compromised immune system and sleep disturbances.6

With only 25% of our adult brain size, we are the least mature at birth of any mammal. Anthropologist, Ashley Montagu concluded that given our upright position and large brains, human infants are born prematurely while our heads can still fit through the birth canal, and that brain development must therefore extend into postnatal life. He believed the human gestation period to actually be eighteen months long – nine in the womb and another nine outside it, and that touch is absolutely vital to this time of “exterogestation.”7

Newborns are born expecting to be held, handled, cuddled, rubbed, kissed, and maybe even licked! All mammals lick their newborns vigorously, off and on, during the first hours and days after birth in order to activate their sensory nerve endings, which are involved in motor movements, spatial, and visual orientation. These nerve endings cannot be activated until after birth due to the insulation of the watery womb environment and the coating of vernix casseus on the baby’s skin.

Recall Dr. Janov’s claim that you can kiss a brain into maturity. Janov believes that very early touch is central to developing a healthy brain. “Irrespective of the neurojuices involved, it is clear that lack of love changes the chemicals in the brain and can eventually change the structure of that brain.”

Breastfeeding: Liquid Love

Breastfeeding neatly brings together nourishment for baby with the need for closeness shared by mother and child; and is another crucial way that mother’s love helps shape baby’s brain. Research shows that breastmilk is the perfect “brain food”, essential for normal brain development, particularly, those brain processes associated with depression, violence, and social and sexual behaviors.8

Mother’s milk, a living liquid, contains just the right amount of fatty acids, lactose, water, and amino acids for human digestion, brain development, and growth. It also contains many immunities a baby needs in early life while her own immune system is maturing. One more instance of mother extending her own power, (love) to her developing child.

Limbic Regulation: The Loop of Love

Another key to understanding how a mother’s love shapes the emerging capacities of her infant is what doctors Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini, and Richard Lannon , authors of A General Theory of Love, call limbic regulation; a mutually synchronizing hormonal exchange between mother and child which serves to regulate vital rhythms.

Human physiology, they say, does not direct all of its own functions; it is interdependent. It must be steadied by the physical presence of another to maintain both physical and emotional health. “Limbic regulation mandates interdependence for social mammals of all ages.” says Lewis, “But young mammals are in special need of it’s guidance: their neural systems are not only immature but also growing and changing. One of the physiologic processes that limbic regulation directs, in other words, is the development of the brain itself – and that means attachment determines the ultimate nature of a child’s mind.” A baby’s physiology is maximally open-loop: without limbic regulation, vital rhythms collapse posing great danger, even death.

The regulatory information required by infants can alter hormone levels, cardiovascular function, sleep rhythms, immune function, and more. Lewis, et al contend that , the steady piston of mother’s heart along with the regularity of her breathing coordinate the ebb and flow of an infant’s young internal rhythms. They believe sleep to be an intricate brain rhythm which the neurally immature infant must first borrow from parents. “Although it sounds outlandish to some American ears, exposure to parents can keep a sleeping baby alive.”

The Myth of Independence

This interdependence mandated by limbic regulation is vital during infancy, but it’s also something we need throughout the rest of childhood and on into adulthood. In many ways, humans cannot be stable on their own-we require others to survive. Recall that our nervous systems are not self-contained; they link with those of the people close to us in a silent rhythm that helps regulate our physiology. This is not a popular notion in a culture that values independence over interdependence. However, as a society that cherishes individual freedoms more than any other, we must respect the process whereby autonomy develops.

Children require ongoing neural synchrony from parents in order for their natural capacity for self-directedness to emerge. A mother’s love is a continuous shaping force throughout childhood and requires an adequate stage of dependency. The work of Mary Ainsworth has shown that maternal responsiveness and close bodily contact lead to the unfolding of self-reliance and self confidence.9 Because our culture does not sufficiently value interpersonal relationships, the mother/child bond is not recognized and supported as it could be.

The ability of a mother to read the emotional state of her child is older than our own species, and is essential to our survival, health and happiness. We are reminded of this each time a hurt child changes from sad/scared/angry to peaceful in our loving embrace. Warm human contact generates the internal release of opiates, making mother’s love a powerful anodyne. Even teenagers who sometimes behave as if they are ’so over’ the need for a mother’s affection must be kept in the limbic loop. Children at this age might be at special risk for falling through the emotional cracks. If they don’t get the emotional regulation that family relationships are designed to provide, their hungry brains may seek ineffectual substitutes like drugs and alcohol.

Children left too long under the electronic stewardship of television, video games, etc., are not receiving the steady limbic connection with a resonant parent. Without this a child cannot internalize emotional balance properly.

Our hearts and brains are hardwired for love, and from infancy to old age our health and happiness depend on receiving it.

As the research keeps coming in and we gain a gradually expanding vision of how mother love shapes our species, we see an obvious need to take steps to protect and provide for the mother/child bond. We can take heart knowing that all the while we carry in our genes over a million years of evolutionary refinements equipping us for our role as mothers. The answers sought by science beat steadily within our own hearts.

Technorati Tags: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Ms.Magazine: How Family Courts Punish Abused Women

by R. Dianne Bartlow ·

“The dirtiest little secret in America” is that family courts, in deciding custody, often wreak devastation upon mothers and children.

So argue Mo Therese Hannah and Barry Goldstein, editors of the new anthology Domestic Violence, Abuse, and Child Custody, which brings to light what many familiar with the family court system have long known: Designed to dispense justice, the system has become instead “an instrument of oppression,” particularly in cases involving domestic violence.

To find a chilling example of what the editors mean, we need look no further than the recent murder of infant Wyatt Garcia,reported in the Daily Beast:

Wyatt Garcia was born in April 2009. Nine months later, he was shot and killed by his father, who then turned the gun on himself.

It might have turned out differently—if a family-court judge had listened to Wyatt’s mother.

Wyatt’s mother, Katie Tagle, had previously filed three motions in family court for an order of protection against the baby’s father, Stephen Garcia, alleging that he had physically assaulted her and harassed her and her family. Garcia was apparently jealous that she was dating again. In the last motion, Tagle charged that Garcia “had threatened to kill her and their baby.”

The San Bernardino County Superior Court Judge Robert Lemkau chose to believe Garcia’s denials over the evidence supplied by Tagle–which included emails, text messages, and voice messages, according to the Daily Beast. Tagle says she was treated like a “criminal” and “complaining woman.”

One goal of Hannah and Goldstein’s book is to convince judges, attorneys, and others who work in the court system that all forms of abusive behavior, whether physical, verbal, financial or legal, cause harm to women and children. On the legal side, men who abuse their female intimate partners have successfully used strategies such as false accusations, harassment, manipulation, and intimidation to win custody while often driving their victims into poverty. According to contributing author and lawyer Joan Zorza:

Abusive men not only harass their victims, many harass their partners’ lawyers and manipulate those in and connected with the court system who are supposed to insure that children are placed with their better parent in a safe, nurturing environment.

This makes it all the stranger that about half of the time batterers win custody in family courts. They are actually more likely to win custody than men who do not abuse their partners, according to Zorza. Over the past nine months, 75 children have been murdered by abusive fathers who used custody battles to get even with the mothers, according to the Daily Beast.

Yet Katie Tagle’s dismissive treatment by family courts is all-too-familiar. While there has been a growing awareness over the last 30 years of the harm domestic violence causes, courts are more and more ignoring women’s allegations of domestic violence and holding them responsible for their own abuse. This is largely due to courts’ reliance upon mental health experts who have inadequate training in intimate violence or child sexual abuse and who are easily manipulated by batterers.

Gender bias plays a large role in this backlash, according to the editors:

Compared to men, women are disbelieved more often, held to much higher standards, and judged far more punitively for failings such as drinking, use of drugs, adultery, or hostility to their partners. …Such behaviors are readily seen as grounds for giving the father custody.

Hannah and Goldstein hope to also expose two particularly harmful court practices that have evolved over the last several decades: Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), and “friendly parent” statutes. PAS provides a handy–and utterly without basis–refutation to incest and abuse claims by blaming mothers for any hostility that the children feel towards their fathers, maintaining that children love and respect their fathers unless a “poisonous” mother has convinced them otherwise. Even alleged incest and violence are not deemed reason enough for children to independently turn against their fathers.

Since PAS has been deemed by the American Psychological Association to have no scientific backing, at least 32 states have incorporated the milder sounding “friendly parent” concept into their custody laws. This gives custody to the parent who will encourage the child to have more contact and a better relationship with the other parent. Often mothers are hurt by the friendly parent concept, since they can be deemed “unfriendly” for saying anything against the father, including alleging abuse. Zorza says that, ironically enough:

The unfriendly behavior of noncustodial parents (usually the father), such as not paying child support, physically or verbally abusing the mother, or stalking her, is not considered as meeting the definition of unfriendly.

With such an approach, Zorza says, family violence is discounted, and abusers are empowered while battered women are disempowered. Ultimately, children are harmed.

Domestic Violence, Abuse, and Child Custody will be instructive for policymakers, those working in the family justice system, and members of the media–which the authors say has by-and-large failed to expose custody court scandals. But it is a must-read for any mother involved in a child custody battle, and especially for mothers trying get free from an abusive relationship.

Police: Deaths of former Ky. couple in Alabama a murder-suicide

http://www.montgomeryadvertiser.com/article/20100520/NEWS02/5200330/Police++Deaths+of+former+Ky.+couple+in+Alabama+a+murder-suicide

WHITE OAK -- Authorities investigating a double shooting of a Kentucky woman and her estranged husband said it appears to have been a murder-suicide resulting from an ongoing domestic problem.

Colbert County Sheriff Ronnie May said 48-year-old Jacqueline Owens of Louisville, Ky., and 59-year-old Lamarce Owens were going through a divorce.

"According to the members of their families, they have been in a heated situation and some disagreements recently," May said. "We know they were separated and were going through a divorce. In fact, the divorce papers were found in a plastic bag laying between the two bodies."

Authorities found Jacqueline Owens dead in the parking lot of the White Oak Volunteer Fire Department, where the shooting occured about noon Monday.

Her husband was found nearby and transported to Helen Keller Hospital in Sheffield where he later died.

May said police found a .38-caliber revolver near the woman's body and it appears she shot her estranged husband before shooting herself.

Friends said Lamarce Owens recently had moved back to Moulton after living in Louisville, Ky., for three decades.

Technorati Tags: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Amahal Lynch admits slaying ex-flame, her daughter and trying to make it look like murder-suicide

 

BY WIL CRUZ, EDGAR SANDOVAL AND BILL HUTCHINSON
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITERS

 

Suspect Amahal Lynch is escorted by cops.

Murray/News

Suspect Amahal Lynch is escorted by cops.

Facebook photo of Shakeema Elliott and daughter Kaliya Williams, who were found dead in bathtub.

Taggart for News

Facebook photo of Shakeema Elliott and daughter Kaliya Williams, who were found dead in bathtub.

RELATED NEWS

A Brooklyn man confessed Monday night to strangling an 8-year-old girl and her mother and then setting up the crime scene to look like a murder-suicide, cops said.

Amahal Lynch, 20, was hit with double-murder charges after autopsies revealed foul play and he admitted his role in the deaths of Shakeema Elliott, 29, and Kaliya Williams.

"He made it look like a suicide," said a police source, citing Lynch's videotaped confession that he strangled Elliott during an argument before killing her daughter.

Lynch, a city housing employee who once had a romantic relationship with Elliott, told prosecutors he put the bodies in the bathtub and then scattered pills on the bathroom floor.

"I just don't understand, why kill both? If you want to hurt Shakeema, why do the little girl, too? She was a baby," said Elliott's distraught cousin, Madeline Motley, 57, of North Babylon, L.I.

Their naked bodies were found Sunday morning in their Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn, apartment by cops responding to a burglary complaint.

When officers arrived at the Batchelder St. address in the Nostrand Houses, they found the front door ajar, a police source said.

Detectives found no obvious signs of trauma on either victim, the source said.

But late yesterday the city medical examiner said Elliott and Kaliya died from "asphyxia due to neck compressions."

Even before autopsy results were announced, cops picked up Lynch for questioning.

The news of the double-murder arrest left heartbroken relatives and neighbors outraged that someone would kill the doting single mother and her innocent daughter, who was nicknamed Le Le.

"It's just a total shock," said Kaliya's godmother, Wanda Sunpce, 25, of Brooklyn.

Sunpce said she never believed Elliott would purposely harm herself and her little girl.

"I just saw her a month ago. She seemed fine," Sunpce said of Elliott. "She did not bother anyone. She did not talk of anyone bothering her. All she did was love her daughter."

Sunpce said Elliott, who was unemployed, had a rough upbringing, but persevered to become a good mother. Her birth mother gave her up for adoption when she was 5 and her adoptive mother died last year of stomach complications. Her adoptive father died several years ago after suffering a stroke, Sunpce said.

Elliott kept in contact with her birth mother, Sharon Elliott of South Carolina, who was headed to New York last night, Sunpce said.

whutchinson@nydailynews.com

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2010/05/18/2010-05-18_suicide_a_murder_exbeau_admits_slaying_ma_making_it_look_as_if_she_killed_girl.html#ixzz0oTbLAv2e

(FL) Police: couple found dead, possible murder-suicide

 

 

NAPLES, Fla. -- Collier County authorities are investigating a couple's death as a possible murder-suicide.

Authorities have identified the victims as 56-year-old James Payne and his wife, 47-year-old Roleen Payne. Investigators say both had been shot in the head.

Their bodies were found in their Naples home Saturday night by their landlord.

Anyone with further information is asked to call the Collier County Sheriff's Office.

Read more: http://www.miamiherald.com/2010/05/17/1633236/police-couple-found-dead-possible.html#ixzz0oTbyfAAj

Unsettled divorce led to murder-suicide, friends say “nice, friendly guy,"

http://www.mv-voice.com/news/show_story.php?id=2877

by Daniel DeBolt

The man believed to have shot his ex-wife before shooting himself Friday wanted to resume living with his ex-wife -- or be paid for his share of the home and dry cleaning business they had once owned together, friends and co-workers said Monday, May 17.

In the city's first murder since 2008, Cho Yong Chang, 70, and his ex-wife In Ku Lee, 62, were found dead May 14 inside Vogue Dry Cleaners on Escuela Avenue by an employee. Both had been shot and a gun was found at the scene, police said. There was no sign of breaking and entering.

Police are classifying the case as a murder-suicide, but are not ruling out the possibility of a double murder.

"We're not discounting the possibility that it could be a staged murder-suicide," police spokesperson Liz Wylie said Tuesday morning. "But so far we have uncovered nothing that points to that."

Police say Lee was shot by someone else several times in the torso and once to the head, while Chang died from one gunshot wound to the neck.

"Evidence gleaned during the autopsy further confirms our current classification as murder-suicide with (Chang) as the shooter," police spokesperson Liz Wylie said in an email Tuesday.

Siaby Singh, a clerk at the 7-11 store across the street from Vogue Dry Cleaners, said that people in the neighborhood looked up to Chang, and that some even called him "Mayor." Chang would visit businesses in the nearby strip malls several times a day to socialize.

"People went to him for help and advice," Singh said. When the warm food at 7-11 was about to expire, Chang would take it to a struggling family living behind the dry cleaners, Singh said. "That's the kind of person he was," Singh said.

"He was a trustworthy guy," Singh said. "It was like losing family."

Chang worked for Lee after their divorce in order to make a living because "he had to," Singh said. Santa Clara County court records reportedly show that Lee had been ordered to pay Chang $350,000 in their 2004 divorce in which Lee became owner of a Santa Clara home. Years later, Chang felt he had still not received his share, Singh said, but "he was never angry."

"Let me get my share and go back to Japan," is what Chang was saying to his ex-wife, Singh said. Chang was born in Japan but of Korean descent, according to an employee of the dry cleaner.

By all accounts, Chang was a "nice, friendly guy," said an employee Tony and Alba's Pizza, another business at the corner of Latham and Escuela streets where Chang would socialize with the staff. "He will definitely be missed," said the employee, who asked that his name not be used.

Anthony Salciccia Jr., whose family owns Tony and Alba's, said people in the neighborhood were shocked and saddened by the deaths.

Chang and Lee had also operated Calderon Dry Cleaners at Calderon and Church streets. Both stores were apparently signed over to Lee at some point, though Chang had been an owner for over 20 years, friends said. Both Lee and Chang also had children from previous marriages.

An employee of the Calderon store said Chang would come in daily to help run the place, which is now managed by a daughter of Lee's. He seemed "lonely and depressed," the employee said. "He didn't have any hope."

"He wanted to live with her, but she didn't want to live with him," the employee said of Chang and Lee.

Homeless Man: I Warned Cruz's Wife of Murder Plot

    http://www.tmz.com/2010/05/19/juan-carlos-cruz-murder-plot-wife-jennifer-campbell-homeless-food-network/

     

    One of the homeless men cops worked with to bust former Food Network host Juan-Carlos Cruz says he warned Cruz's wife, Jennifer Campbell, that he had been paid to kill her.

    0519-homeless-wife_02

    David Walters -- aka Big Dave -- one of the men who told TMZ about the alleged murder-for-hire plot -- now tells us two days before he and his homeless friends informed cops about the plot, he went to the location where Cruz allegedly said Dave could find Campbell -- a private training facility in Westwood, CA.

    Dave says at around 5 PM he showed up at the building, spotted Campbell and told her, "I've been hired to kill you, but I'm not gonna do it."  Dave says Campbell responded, "That's not true.  I don't know what you're talking about."  Dave retorted, "Yes it is."  Dave says Campbell then kicked him in the stomach and ran from the building."

    Cruz was arrested a week ago and then charged with attempted murder and solicitation of murder.

    We've learned the 3 homeless men never told cops about Big Dave's meeting with Campbell.  But the men say they never told Santa Monica detectives the story because the cops never asked.

    TMZ broke the story that Campbell told people she was suicidal over the couple's inability to have children -- but could not take her own life because of her deeply held religious belief that suicide is a mortal sin.  We're told this could have been a murder/suicide concocted by Cruz to fulfill his wife's wishes.

    More Juan-Carlos Cruz

  • Juan-Carlos Cruz -- Murder/Suicide Plan

  • Juan-Carlos Cruz Pleads Not Guilty

  • Juan-Carlos Cruz's Wife -- In Misery for Years

  • Juan-Carlos Cruz Charged with Attempted Murder

  • Juan-Carlos Cruz -- I'm Not Guilty

  • Homeless Men -- Cruz Wanted Us to Cut Her Throat

  • Wife of Food Network Chef Alleged Target

    • Read more: http://www.tmz.com/2010/05/19/juan-carlos-cruz-murder-plot-wife-jennifer-campbell-homeless-food-network/#ixzz0oTVr0qge